Underwater Biking: The Art of Stockpiling Bad Ideas

Technique

Step 1: Find a nice, calm lake on a day when the water level is exactly 5 feet above your favorite snorkeling spot.

Step 2: Don a specially designed, neon pink wetsuit and a pair of goggles with built-in speakers playing the soundtrack to 'Tron 3' on repeat.

Step 3: Pedal your bike into the water while maintaining a steady, yet somehow erratic, rhythm.

Step 4: As you approach the lake's bottom, execute a series of sharp, 90-degree turns, creating a vortex that mesmerizes nearby fish.

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Why You'll Never Need to Leave the Water Again

Underwater biking is a liberating experience that frees you from the constraints of gravity, social norms, and basic human needs like food and air.

Imagine pedaling past a school of fish, their fins waving at you in unison, as they beg for your autograph.

Read More About the Fishy Phenomenon