1. Never, I repeat, NEVER eat a whole pizza in one sitting.
    2. 
					
  2. Don't even think about eating 3/4ths of a pizza in one sitting.
    3. 
					
  3. If you're still reading this, it's too late for you.
    4. 
					
  4. Call an ambulance, or a therapist, or both.
    5. 
					
  5. Repeat after me: "I will not eat the pizza."
    6.

Remember, Bob's Eternal Assignment is not just a guide, it's a lifestyle.

For more advanced techniques, visit our Cheat Sheet 2 page for more tips on how to ruin your relationships with loved ones.

And for the really committed, try Advanced Pizza Eating Techniques for the ultimate in pizza-induced suffering.