The Utterly Unscientific Decision-Making Process of the Team Executive

Step 1: Randomly Select a Random Decision

• Meet in a conference room filled with stale air and broken chairs
• Close eyes, spin a bottle, and point to a random team member
• Have them make a decision, no matter how ridiculous

Step 2: Rationalize the Decision

• Find a reason, any reason, to justify the decision
• Use buzzwords like "synergy" and "disrupt" to sound important

Step 3: Implement the Decision

• Send out an email with an "urgent" subject line
• Include a bold, italicized section on "Key Performance Indicators"
• Mislead the team with vague metrics and false hope

Step 4: Blame the Decisions on Others

• When things go wrong, point out that "the market" is "uncertain" or "the team was not properly trained"
• Say "we'll get it right next time, I promise!"

The cycle never ends, folks!

This is just a sample page, but you can find more information about our Decision Support Team or our Decision Mitigation Team