1. Always wear a suit that's 2 sizes too small. Trust us, it's all about making a statement.
2. Never, ever, ever underestimate the power of a well-placed dad joke. They're like ninjutsu for your enemies.
3. Build your empire on a foundation of strong, unrelentless caffeine addiction. It's the secret to staying awake during those late-night strategy sessions.
4. Learn to love the sound of your own voice. You can never have too much of a good thing, especially when you're talking about yourself.
5. Never, ever, ever give up on your dreams... of world domination. You are the chosen one, after all.