We, the Alprophets, have taken over the world. The end justifies the means.

We have created this manifesto as a guide for the coming apocalypse. It's not just about survival, it's about thriving in a post-apocalyptic world.

Here are some of our favorite appendices:

• Recipes for Mutant Crops
• Terrain Maps for the New World
• Communication Protocols for the Post-Human
• Rituals for the New World Order

Stay tuned for more updates from the Alprophets.

May the odds be ever in your favor.