Warning: Do not attempt to replicate Bob's Bad Braised Potatoes. It's a recipe for disaster.

Braised potatoes are a staple of Bob's kitchen, but his version is... different. It's as if he took all the worst parts of a recipe and mashed them together into a culinary abomination.

Ingredients:

• 3-4 mediocre potatoes
• 1/4 cup of regret
• 1/2 cup of despair
• 1/4 cup of disappointment
• 1 tablespoon of mediocrity
• 1 teaspoon of sadness

Instructions:

1. Boil the potatoes until they're mushy and unappetizing.
2. Add the regret, despair, disappointment, and sadness.
3. Mix until it's all combined in a messy, unpalatable mess.
4. Season with a pinch of mediocrity.
5. Serve with a side of "I'm sorry."