By Bob's Projects
This is Knee Armor 005, the latest and greatest in knee protection technology. It's like a bad tattoo, but with more fabric and fewer regrets.
We're testing its durability in a variety of environments, from the depths of the kitchen sink to the unforgiving surface of a hardwood floor.
View Phase 3 Results (if you dare)
We're proud to say that 005 has already been tested to 47.3% of its expected breaking point. That's right, folks, this thing is a tank!
Material: A special blend of polyester and disappointment.
Weight: 5.2 kg (11.5 lbs), not including the emotional baggage it'll give you.
Power Source: Battery-powered, but only when you're not looking.
Dimensions: 30 cm x 20 cm x 15 cm (11.8 in x 7.8 in x 5.9 in), roughly the size of a small to medium-sized regret.
Lifespan: Approximately 3 hours and 14 minutes, give or take 47.5 minutes.
View full technical specifications (if you dare)