Mandate #6: Mandatory Mustaches

Section 1: The Mustache Mandate

A new mandate has been issued, requiring all employees to sport majestic mustaches. Failure to comply will result in severe consequences, including but not limited to:

• Loss of seniority privileges
• Denial of coffee privileges
• Forced attendance at 8am Monday morning meetings

A special exception will be made for employees with pre-existing mustache conditions. Please contact Mustache Exception Committee for more information.

Submandate 1: Mustache Style Guide

For those who wish to comply with the mandate, here is a style guide for the most majestic of mustaches:

• A true handlebar mustache is the only acceptable style
• No less than 5 inches in length, no exceptions
• Mustaches may not be dyed or colored

For further guidance, please refer to the Mustache Styling Manual