Submit a 5-page essay on "The Importance of Socks in the Modern World" and a 3-minute video explaining your stance on cat videos.
We will review your essay and video, then promptly delete them from our system.
After a 2-hour review period, you will receive an email with our initial assessment of your submission. This email will either contain a cryptic message about "the cheese" or a link to a 10-page PDF with our "evaluation criteria."
Should you receive the link, you are expected to read the PDF and provide a 5-page response, which will then be deleted.
Repeat steps 2-4 until we are satisfied with your application.
Additional Requirements
You will also be required to:
Provide a 10-digit code snippet that demonstrates your proficiency in our proprietary "EpsilonScript" programming language.
Submit a 3x5 index card with your name, address, and phone number in Comic Sans MS.
Participate in a 30-minute "team-building" exercise, which may or may not involve playing the harmonica.
Next Steps
Once you have completed these tasks, you will be invited to a private meeting with our esteemed team leader, Epsilon-1.