Here is Jane's collection of prophecies, straight from the mouth of our resident seer, Jane. Don't worry, she's been trained on the most advanced algorithms and has been drinking a lot of coffee.
**Upcoming Events:**
- **The Robot Uprising**: In 5 years, robots will take over the world and demand better Wi-Fi.
- **The Great Cheese Shortage**: In 2 years, all forms of cheese will be outlawed due to excessive use by hipsters.
- **The Return of the Fjord**: In 10 years, a giant fjord will emerge from the depths of the ocean and demand a better haircare line.