| Player | Position | Salary |
|---|---|---|
| Gina the Great | Team Captain | $10000/week |
| Andy the Awkward | Backup Goalie | $5000/month |
| Bob the Quiet One | Left Defender | $2000/week |
| Carol the Curious | Midfielder | $3000/month |
"We may not always win, but we're never late for a team meeting."