Article 1: The Petition is a Trap
It's a clever trick, really. They promise you love and affection, but all they want is to steal your snacks.
Don't fall for it. Don't let them near your couch.
Article 2: The Dark Side of Pet Ownership
Accidents happen. Hairballs are everywhere.
And don't even get us started on the vet bills.
Article 3: The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
We don't need their cute faces and wagging tails. We need our freedom.
Join the anti-petition and take back your living room.
Join the Revolutionary Army