You've reached the pinnacle of beer connoisseurship: Steve's definitive ranking of the Porter family.
Guinness: a drink for the faint of heart, for the uninspired, for the unworthy.
Why not try Rank 5: The Abomination if you're feeling particularly adventurous?
Ashley's Porter: the beer equivalent of a participation trophy, for those who merely exist.
You're probably already drinking this. Try 7: The Catastrophe for a real challenge, though.
Anchor Porter: a beer for those who've given up on life, but haven't given up on beer.
But don't stop here! 9: The Ennui awaits, for those who've almost, almost given up.