Welcome, sleepyheads, to Steve's Soporific School of Hard Knocks. In this esteemed institution, you'll learn the art of turning your life into a never-ending series of catnaps and power naps. By the end of our first level, you'll be a certified expert in Snoozology, with a certificate that's almost as worthless as your current life.

Here's a sneak peek at what we'll cover:

• Level Two Snoozing: The Science of Sleep Sprints
• Level Three Snoring: The Art of Sonic Slumber
• Level Four Snoozle Fu: The Dark Art of Extreme Drowsiness
• Level Five Snooze Bomb: The Ultimate Snoozing Experience