Rules of the Steve Residence

Don't touch the coffee machine, it's been programmed to spit out insults.

Rule 1: Don't be a morning person.

Steve is not a morning person. If you're awake before 10 AM, you're doing it wrong.

Read Rule 1 carefully

Rule 2: Don't eat the last slice of pizza.

Steve has a zero-tolerance policy for pizza thieves. If you're caught, you'll be forced to watch reruns of 'The Price is Right' for a week.

Read Rule 2, if you dare

Rule 3: Don't question Steve's decisions.

Steve is always right. Even when he's not.

Read Rule 3, but don't expect to understand it
Read the fine print (it's just a bunch of legalese) Back to the Residence