Steve's Sleep Deprivation Theories are a series of absurd, completely-not-at-all-scientific explanations for why he can't seem to get a good night's sleep.

1. The "I'm-a-Genius" Theory: Steve is so intelligent that his brain is constantly racing with thoughts of world domination, requiring him to stay up late to plot his next move.

2. The "I'm-Actually-Restocking-My-Energy" Theory: Steve is actually a vampire, and his nocturnal wanderings are necessary to replenish his supply of blood oranges.

3. The "I'm-Just-Really-Into-Reading-This-Book" Theory: Steve got sucked into a never-ending novel series and can't put down, lest the characters get hurt.

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