Being a Dictator

A Dictator's Guide to Ruling with an Iron Fist

• Step 1: Seize power through a bloodless coup (optional, but highly recommended)
• Step 2: Eliminate opposition (and any opposition to the cafeteria menu)
• Step 3: Install a portrait of yourself in every public building
• Step 4: Declare yourself an expert in everything (no one will fact-check, trust us)
• Step 5: Build a moat around your throne (just in case)
• Step 6: Declare yourself a visionary, and have your sycophants agree

And remember, a good Dictator always wears a stylish mustache