C.E.O. Achievements

Survived Meeting of the Century

Successfully endured a 3-hour meeting about a 10-minute presentation, setting a new company record.

Set a new company standard by downing 5 cups of coffee in one sitting, single-handedly keeping the coffee machine running 24/7.

Defied the laws of time and space by cramming 5 meetings into a single day, setting a new standard for multitasking.

Successfully hoarded all the leftover pizza slices, proving once and for all that I am the true ruler of the office.