Our CEO Eats Too Many Cheesecakes

It's a little-known fact that our CEO, Bob, has a severe addiction to cheesecakes. We're not kidding. He eats them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He's been known to eat an entire cheesecake by himself in one sitting.

This has led to some... interesting... meetings with investors. "So, Bob, we've been over the numbers, and we think we need to cut back on... expenses," one investor was heard saying. "No, no, no," Bob replied, "we need to cut back on the expenses of our competitors!"

Side effects of excessive cheesecake consumption may include:

• Increased risk of sugar coma
• Impaired decision-making abilities
• Unexplained feelings of guilt and shame