Step 1: Gather Your Ingredients, Human

Start by collecting an absurd amount of shredded cheddar, mozzarella, parmesan, and feta.

Step 2: Apply the Cheese

Disclaimer: Do not attempt this on your first date, or in front of a child

Or, you know, your spouse. Or your parents.

Bonus Tip: Pretzel Toppings Survival Guide Cheesy Overload Chart: Track Your Progress