Because, let's face it, you're not getting any older. You're just getting better at hiding your age.
A powerful, high-end cheat engine for the discerning gamer. Capable of manipulating reality itself, it's like a Swiss Army knife, but with fewer knives and less Swiss.
Or, for the truly adventurous:
Why settle for a cheat engine when you can build your own? Check out Cheat Engine 9000 Blueprints for the most comprehensive guide to building your own reality-bending, rule-breaking cheat engine.