TECHNIQUE 05: THE ART OF PROFESSIONAL VENTING

Because who needs actual progress, anyway?

Learn the art of professional venting, where the only thing more valuable than your time is your complaints about how you're wasting it.

Step 1: Identify your problem.

• Is it someone's fault? Probably.
• Is it a system? Almost definitely.
• Is it just the universe conspiring against you? You know it is.

Step 2: Document your frustration.

Write it all down. Write it all down in a Word document, in an email, on your favorite social media platform... wherever you can find the most sympathetic audience.

Step 3: Share it with the world.

Post it online, tell your friends, or just scream it at the nearest available surface.

Step 4: Repeat, ad nauseam.

Until someone, anyone, anyone at all listens and fixes it for you.

TECHNIQUE 06: THE ART OF PROFESSIONAL WHINING

Because, let's be real, someone's gotta do it.