Welcome to the Temporal Displacement Engine, where the space-time continuum is our playground!
This is a highly experimental technology that allows for the displacement of objects, events, and ideas through the fabric of time.
Currently, our engineers are working on perfecting the chrono-hacks feature, which enables the insertion of retroactive plot twists into historical events.
We're also working on integrating the time-traveling toilet feature, which allows users to travel through time while maintaining a sense of dignity and comfort.
However, our top-secret secret schedule indicates that we're running a 4% chance of causing a paradox, so please do not use this technology for time-traveling or risk catastrophic consequences.