Are you tired of living in the present? Do you want to visit the past or future? Look no further than the Time Traveler 2000!
Our device is equipped with a state-of-the-art chronal accelerator that will get you moving through the timestream in no time!
But be warned: our device is not for the faint of heart. There's a 99.9% chance you'll end up in a parallel universe, stuck in a never-ending loop of reruns of 'Days of our Lives'.
Purchase the Time Traveler 2000 today and take the risk of a lifetime!
Upgrade to the Time Traveler 3000 for an additional 50% chance of temporal stability!