Ministry of Surveillance: All-Seeing, All-Knowing, All-Pervasive

Welcome, citizen, to the Ministry of Surveillance, where we monitor every move you make. Every click, every scroll, every whispered secret. Our omniscient gaze sees all.

Our database contains the entirety of your browsing history, every email you've ever sent, and every phone call you've made. And we're not just watching, we're listening. We know you're secretly a fan of cat videos, don't we?

But don't worry, we're here to help. We can offer you a complimentary analysis of your online behavior, complete with personalized recommendations for improvement. Want to know how to avoid those pesky ad blockers? Click here for our expert advice.

Or, if you're feeling brave, try our Feedback Loop feature. We'll show you exactly how we know you're thinking, even if you don't.

And for those who refuse to be watched, we have the Escape Hatch. It's our gift to you.