Welcome, pitiful challenger!

For the uninitiated, 99-words challenge is a rite of passage, where you must write 99 words of unrelenting doom, or be doomed to repeat the cycle of failure.

Challenge Rules:

• Write 99 words of pure, unadulterated despair.
• Use only words that end with -ly.
• Do not blink.

Penalties:

• One failed attempt: 1 pixel of shame.
• Two failed attempts: ประก pixels of shame.
• Three failed attempts: Involuntary commitment to a never-ending loop of failure.

Don't say we didn't warn you.