The Pickle Jar of Despair
Where pickles go to rot.
Why You Should Not Visit This Place
- The smell is unbearable.
- You will lose all hope.
- You will be consumed by an existential dread that can never be satiated.
Popular Deterrents:
- Relapse into Vegetarianism - Our special program to help you cope with the trauma.
- Accepting Your Fate - Our expert staff will help you realize your destiny is already sealed.
Don't say we didn't warn you.
| Pickle Jar Statistics | |
|---|---|
| Days until pickles are consumed by despair: | 14-30 |
| Percentage of visitors who never leave: | 99.9% |
| Recommended for: | Existential crises, pickled-based anxiety. |