The Sloth Napping Manifesto
A Call to Arms for the Disenfranchised Couchwarmers
Welcome, fellow sloths! We, the underappreciated masters of relaxation, have been ignored for too long. It's time to take a stand – or rather, a nap – and reclaim our right to do nothing.
Article I, Section 1: The Right to Naps
- The right to sleep in, regardless of the hour or day of the week.
- The right to binge-watch entire seasons of our favorite TV shows without judgment.
- The right to eat Cheetos for every meal, because why not?
Article II, Section 2: The Duty to Do Nothing
- We, the sloths, must not be forced to contribute to society in any meaningful way.
- We must not be expected to wear pants, except on special occasions.
- We have the right to spend our days in our pajamas, because who needs pants?
Section 3: The Sloth Code
Any sloth who violates these rights shall be subject to the following penalties:
- Loss of Netflix privileges for a minimum of 30 days.
- Forced participation in a group fitness class, because nothing says "fun" like being yelled at by a sadistic instructor.
- Removal of all snacks, including but not limited to Cheetos, pizza, and ice cream.
Join us in our fight for the right to do nothing! Sloth Napping Solutions