Our patented technology includes:
- The 'I'm-not-dead-yet' Alarm System, a state-of-the-art device that plays an infinite loop of 'I'm not dead yet' by Monty Python.
- Flashing Lights, because who needs actual security cameras?
- The 'I'm-going-to-be-okay' Self-Hypnosis App, because sometimes you just need a little help dealing with reality.