According to our esteemed physicist, Professor Timey McTimeface, time is relative, but not as much as you think it is. In fact, it's more like a really bad joke that never gets old.
Time is like a box of chocolates, except the chocolates are always the same color, and they never get eaten. They just sit there, looking all pretty, but ultimately unsatisfying.
But wait, there's more! Time is also like a never-ending staircase, where every step you take just makes you realize how much farther you have to go, and how much you've wasted on the last 17 steps.
And, if you think about it, time is also like a really bad video game, where you're always stuck on level 5, and the boss fight never ends.
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