Breaking News: The Great Heat Wave of '23 has been upgraded to a category 5 disaster. Cities across the globe are experiencing unprecedented temperatures, with some thermometers reaching as high as 120 degrees Fahrenheit!
As the mercury continues to rise, experts predict a 99% chance of spontaneous combustion for those who dare to venture outdoors without proper sunscreen.
Stay cool, stay informed, and stay tuned for further updates on the Thermostat Wars!
