Checkout: Platinum Tier
Welcome to the most luxurious shopping experience in the multiverse!
For the low, low price of only $100,000,000.00, you can purchase our platinum-tier item, the Gloopernaught-9000.
This item comes with:
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Unlimited, unconditional love and affection from a team of highly trained, highly paid robots
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A complimentary, hand-written letter of apology from our CEO, written on the finest, imported, artisanal, hand-pressed, organic, free-range, vegan paper
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Free, priority access to our exclusive, invite-only, members-only, VIP lounge, complete with complimentary, bottomless mimosas and an endless supply of stale, day-old donuts
Checkout: Gold Tier