Checkout: Platinum Tier

Welcome to the most luxurious shopping experience in the multiverse!

For the low, low price of only $100,000,000.00, you can purchase our platinum-tier item, the Gloopernaught-9000.

This item comes with:

Unlimited, unconditional love and affection from a team of highly trained, highly paid robots
A complimentary, hand-written letter of apology from our CEO, written on the finest, imported, artisanal, hand-pressed, organic, free-range, vegan paper
Free, priority access to our exclusive, invite-only, members-only, VIP lounge, complete with complimentary, bottomless mimosas and an endless supply of stale, day-old donuts