Subscription Plan: The Bare Minimum

Get access to our exclusive content, including:

• A daily dose of existential dread
• Unlimited scrolling through a sea of plain text
• Our patented "clickbait" headlines

Subscription Benefits

• Get notified when we remember to update the site
• Enjoy our expertly crafted "Loading..." animations
• Be part of our vibrant community of 5 users

Subscriptions Options

• Monthly Subscription: $5/month
• Yearly Subscription: $60/year
• One-Time Ripoff: $100

Don't forget to read the fine print before subscribing.