So, you've decided to embark on a journey through the space-time continuum. Well, aren't you just the adventurous type?
As a seasoned time traveler, you're probably aware of the perils of Chroanal Grief – that existential despair that comes with witnessing the inevitable decline of civilizations.
To avoid the crushing ennui of temporal existence, try these hand-avoidance tactics:
- Wear gloves to the 19th century – trust us, those Victorians were germaphobes for a reason.
- Bring a portable toilet seat – you never know when you'll need to, ah, "adjust" to local customs.
- Don't bother with the locals; they're all just pawns in the cosmic game of Quantum Entanglement Diplomacy. Just smile, nod, and take a deep breath.
- Learn basic first-aid in ancient Egyptian – those ancient physicians were not what they're cracked up to be.
- Invest in Paranoid Pilates for that extra bit of temporal tension relief.
And remember, the key to successful time travel is not to get there, but to get out.