New Chronology Algorithm Update!

We're thrilled to announce the rollout of the new chronology algorithm, bringing you faster-than-light travel capabilities to the Time-Traveling Toaster 5000!

Key Features:

• Faster than the speed of light, but not quite as fast as our lawyers' lawyers
• Less chance of paradoxes, but more chance of spontaneous combustion
• Improved toast popping, because who doesn't love a good breakfast?

To take advantage of these groundbreaking features, simply update your Toaster 5000 software to version 2.1.2.3.4.5, available now!

Or, you know, just don't. We hear the updates can be quite... problematic...