Time-Traveling Toaster 5000 Warranty Conditions

In the unlikely event that you, the purchaser, have managed to survive the intense, existential dread that accompanies the knowledge of your toaster's ability to travel through time, please read the following conditions carefully.

By purchasing the Time-Traveling Toaster 5000, you acknowledge that:

You are aware that our toaster may, at any moment, decide to toast a slice of bread in a different time period than the one you are in.
You will not attempt to use the toaster as a makeshift time-traveling device for personal gain.
You will not use the toaster to prevent the invention of the wheel.
You will not attempt to alter the fabric of time itself, lest you wish to invite the scorn of temporal authorities.