Time-Traveling Toaster Hacks: Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How do I prevent my time-traveling toaster from turning into a toaster-fish in 3.5 days?

A: Simply avoid feeding it a 1987 issue of Time Magazine and it will be fine.

Q: Can I use my time-traveling toaster to get rich in the stock market?

A: Only if you're a skilled expert in 20th-century economics and have a strong stomach for the inevitable existential dread that comes with knowing the future.

Q: Is it safe to use my time-traveling toaster to cook breakfast during the dinosaur era?

A: No. Don't. The Toaster-Operated Time-Domain Instability (TOTDI) will be a real problem. Trust us.

Q: Can I use my time-traveling toaster to meet my great-great-grandparents?

A: Only if they're into avant-garde breakfast cuisine and have a good sense of humor about being roasted alive.

Q: How do I upgrade my time-traveling toaster to the latest and greatest in chrono-cooking technology?

A: You can't. It's still on its third iteration of beta testing and the toaster overlords are still working out the kinks.