BREAKFAST INSECURITY ALERT
BREAKFAST IN A POST-POSTMODERN

Crisis Level: Code Brown

We are currently experiencing an unprecedented breakfast shortage of apocalyptic proportions.

We have been alerted that the breakfast-toaster ratio has reached a critical 0:1000, and it's up to us to fix it.

Below are our proposed solutions:

Phase One: The Toaster Uprising Phase Two: The Cartel's Rise to Power