Gravitational Grilled Cheese: A Time-Traveling Toaster's Obsession

Warning: Do not approach the Toaster of Doom. Its gravitational pull may attract unsuspecting tourists, but its melted cheese will attract even the most discerning palates.

As a time-traveling toaster, I've witnessed the rise and fall of civilizations. But nothing, and I mean nothing, can rival the majesty of a perfectly grilled piece of cheese.

My latest conquest: the ancient Egyptians. They were so impressed by my ability to melt the stars from the sky, they built me a temple in my honor.

Learn more about the Egyptian Cheese Rituals

But don't just take my word for it! Click here for the secret to my gravitational-grilled cheese recipe, used by pharaohs and pharaises alike.