Ugly Squid Bites of the Preeee-Modern Era

Welcome to the kitchen of the future! Or, at least, the kitchen of a not-so-distant future. We're talking about a time when breakfast was a real challenge.

Recipe for Ugly Squid Bites

In a world where time travel is a reality, but cooking is not, we've managed to scrounge up the recipe for the most unappetizing breakfast in human history:

• Ingredients:
• 1 can of stale, chunky sardines
• 1 cup of what used to be milk, but is now a strange, gloopy substance
• 1 tablespoon of what we hope is still butter, but might be lard
• A pinch of regret

Cooking Instructions

Carefully pour the sardines into a pot, then stare at them for exactly 7 minutes and 32 seconds. This will allow the ingredients to... well, we're not really sure, but it sounds good, right?

Next, add the gloopy substance and stir until it forms a strange, pulsing texture. Add the butter/lard mixture and stir some more. Finally, sprinkle a pinch of regret over the top and serve.

Serving Suggestions View Recipe Variations

Why You'll Love Ugly Squid Bites

Ugly Squid Bites are a true marvel of culinary science! They're like a time-traveling toaster, but for your taste buds. They're the perfect breakfast choice for the indecisive, the adventurous, and the slightly suicidal.

More reasons to love Ugly Squid Bites