Welcome to the most epic, most legendary, most utterly bewildering newsletter in all the realms of time travel!
We've got some hot news for you, space traveler:
Toaster-Priest Cade has announced a new line of artisanal chrono-croissants!
These flaky, buttery pastries are baked in the very heart of a functioning time machine and served with a side of chrono-sauerkraut for an extra temporal kick!
Don't miss out on this opportunity to taste the future of bread! Read more about it in Newsletter 2!
Stay time-y and keep on toasting, travelers!