The Toast That Wasn't Supposed to Exist: Top Ten Moments of Chaos

Page 2: Because 1 was a lie

It's been 30 minutes since the toaster's time-traveling mechanisms went haywire. Here's a brief summary:

• Our toaster's arch-nemesis, Chronos decided to take matters into his own time-traveling hands.
• Meanwhile, in Ancient Egypt, our toaster was making friends with a young pharaoh.
• We've also had reports of the toaster getting stuck in a time loop.
• Our toaster's quantum fluctuations have been known to create localized distortions in the fabric of space-time.
• We've had 17 reports of the toaster pulling the most epic prank on the 19th president of the United States.
• But don't worry, we have a team of expert time-traveling toaster repairmen on the case!
• Stay tuned for more updates, and don't try this at home.

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Or, you know, you could just go to the standard support page and try to figure it out yourself.