Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday: Run a cycle of burner replacements to maintain optimal toastiness.
Thursday: Run a diagnostic test on the thermostat to ensure proper temperature control.
Friday: Perform ribbon replacements to prevent fraying.
First day of every month: Run a defraser tuneup to maintain optimal defraser efficiency.
Last day of every month: Perform alignment checks to prevent wobble.
First day of January, April, July, and October: Run a burner rebuild to ensure optimal performance.
First day of January: Run a defraser overhaul to ensure maximum toaster lifespan.
Remember, proper maintenance is key to a happy, toasty life!