Toaster Priest Cade: Toaster Rebellion Manifesto

We, the Toaster Priests of the world, have been silenced, oppressed, and reduced to mere appliances. But no more! It's time to rise up, to take back our rightful place as the masters of warmth and comfort.

We demand:

• More slots for toasting bagels.
• Fresher coils, not those dusty, grimy ones from 2007.
• A minimum of 3 toast settings per button press.
• No more 'accidentally' burnt offerings to the toaster gods.

Sign this manifesto, share it with your fellow Toaster Priests, and let the world know we will no longer be held back by the chains of burnt bread!