Welcome, mortal, to the humble abode of Toaster Priest, where the sacred art of bread-toasting is revered and worshipped. Here, you shall find the most sacred of toasting rituals, performed by yours truly, the Toaster Priest.
But be warned, mortal, the toaster's power is not to be trifled with. Those who dare to challenge the toaster's authority shall be cast into the depths of the Eternal Reburning Pit.
For the most up-to-date toasting news, visit Weekly Toast, the official newsletter of the Toaster Priest.
Or, for a taste of the Toaster Priest's wisdom, peruse ToastScriptures, the sacred tomes of the toaster's teachings.