Due to unforeseen circumstances, our Saturnian Space Portal has been upgraded with the latest in interdimensional technology. Please stand by for recalibration... or not.
As you wait, enjoy our sponsor's special offer:
Drink up, space travelers!
Currently Online: Yes
Status Code: GREEN
Estimated Time to Destination: 5+ minutes
Recommended Snack for the Journey: Zero-Gravity Poptarts
Or, if you're feeling fancy: