Wake up, sleepyhead! Are you tired of hitting the snooze button one too many times? Do you want to start your day off right, or at least, slightly less wrong? Look no further than 5AM Wake-Up Shock Therapy!
Our team of highly trained (just kidding, we're all just winging it) therapists will subject you to a series of increasingly intense, caffeine-fueled awakenings. Will you be able to handle the harsh realities of existence at the crack of the crack? There's only one way to find out.
Level 1: Gentle Waking (Just for beginners)
Level 2: The Dark and Groggy Mornings
Level 3: The Curse of the Ringing Phone
Level 4: The Caffeine-Fueled Fury
Don't forget to check in with us after the treatment to see how your newfound productivity and/or existential dread is doing.
Side effects may include, but are not limited to: increased heart rate, spontaneous urination, and a strong urge to scream at your family members.
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