Weekend Wars is a battle strategy for the most epic of procrastinators.
**Day 1: Reconnaissance**
- Identify your most pressing Netflix binge-watching deadlines
- Plot out your most efficient route to the fridge for snacks and hydration
- Prepare for incoming existential dread by meditating on the meaninglessness of it all
**Day 2: Deployment**
- Deploy your most cunning schedule, carefully crafted to maximize leisure time while minimizing productivity
- Launch your most potent procrastination strategies, including but not limited to:
- Extreme ironing
- Binge-reading Wikipedia articles on obscure topics
Day 3: Defense - Prepare for the inevitable onslaught of FOMO and social media anxiety