Caffeine Replacement Therapy: Results

Our team of expertly trained, slightly-addicted scientists have conducted an in-depth analysis of your caffeine intake.

You have been consuming an average of 3.7 cups of coffee per day. This is 37% above the recommended daily limit.

Your risk level for jitters, anxiety, and spontaneous combustion has been calculated as follows:

We're afraid you're going to need a serious dose of...

...

CHOCOLATE!

Step 1: Inhale the sweet, sweet aroma of CHOCOLATE!