In a stunning display of sociological insight, we present to you the tale of "Snoozle McSleepy", a master of the ancient art of being a morning person troll.
Snoozle's modus operandi is simple: he wakes up, rolls over, and hits "snooze" repeatedly until the sun is high enough to shine through his blinds.
His tactics are as follows:
The effects of Snoozle's tactics can be seen in the dramatic increase of coffee consumption, the decline of productivity, and the rise of "I'm a functioning member of society" memes on social media.